Hey Big Spender!

OH how the times have changed!

Today I was in baby sensory class with Jacob and the theme was “show time”. So the music was sort of Hollywood/musical theatre style.

Then Big Spender came on from Sweet Charity…and I realised how much has changed within 10 years.

This song took me back to year 2009 when I was taking Diane Laurenson’s class in Broadway Dance Center in NYC and at the time dancing was all I needed in my life. For that number she even had the pole in the room and we learned the original choreography from Sweet Charity and of course we sang as well. My line was “Hey Mister, you’ve got a cigarette for me??” Diane used to be one of Bob Fosse’s former dancers and that was the only style she taught at BDC. And I was living the dream! Of course I wasn’t dancing on Broadway but the class was enough to feel amazing.

It’s funny how so many dreams get crushed as we grow older. And I’m sure I’m not the only one who this has happened to. Like million other people, of course my dream was to dance on some huge stage somewhere but I guess the reality hit hard when we first got to New York with my friend.

Back in my little Estonia, I was doing really good and yes, I dare to say I was one kick ass dancer. I was teaching too and I absolutely loved it. At some point I tried to take every class I possibly could. I think I even wanted to try break dance but oh well, didn’t get that far haha! So you know, I was pretty confident in calling myself “advanced”.

This changed dramatically as we hit the first classes in Broadway Dance Center… I don’t know about now but they used to have five levels – beginner, advanced beginner, intermediate, intermediate advanced and advanced. I can’t remember who’s class we took first but I’m quite sure it was either Intermediate or Advanced Beginner and skills-wise it was quite perfect and still challenging. So there went my “advanced” thinking of myself.

I remember I once thought that right, I’ll do it, I’ll take the Intermediate Advanced class in Theatre…..Oh helllllll no! What was I thinking!? I’ve never felt so out of place ever! That was some next level full on ballet over there! God I still remember this class like it was yesterday…. and well there went my dream of like dancing on Broadway or something lol. I mean, I had done good so far (and God knows how hard I worked!!) but to get to that “So you think you can dance” level you need ballet training from 4 years old. Not like 14.

So anyway…..!! Long story short – I could have maybe tried working towards my dancing dreams and whatnot and maybe some day making these two advanced level classes but as a dancer, you body is your job. When it breaks, you ain’t got no job. And my body did exactly that. My knees went… I don’t even know exactly what happened as of course I had no doctor in NY but I remember I had to walk out from one masterclass during the warm up because I was in so much pain. That’s a “Low”! So embarrassing.

I did get back to normal months after that and did some dancing and teaching but not for very long. I believe in teachers who constantly go and train themselves in order to be great teachers and when I couldn’t do that then I rather quit. I did want to come back to it, I mean I STILL miss dancing so so bad but this is one expensive hobby. Classes are not cheap plus taking them requires time I currently don’t have. So maybe I’ll do some mommy-come back show one day but it’s unlikely!

So until that happens I can listen to Big Spender in a baby class while holding on to a parachute and throwing balloons in the air! 🙂


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