I’m 38 weeks tomorrow and I am ready. My hospital bag’s been backed for a while now so I’m ready to go when the time is here. I just have a feeling that this time around I won’t have to wait as long as I did with Quinn, plus they also say that second babies tend to come faster. Would be nice!
What’s been going through my mind though? The answer is – a LOT.
Before I even start thinking about the new baby, I’ve been thinking about Quinn and how I must do my hardest not to let him feel left out. Ever. I guess I’d rather have even less sleep (that I’d be having anyway). But he’s so amazing and he loves and needs me so much and obviously it’s the same for me. There are always pros and cons in having kids that close to each other (18 months) but I guess we tried to concentrate on the pros. Quinn is still only little so jealousy shouldn’t kick in as it more likely would in a year’s time or so, so fingers crossed! And when I look at him now – he needs a playmate, so bad! And the closer they are in age the more fun they will hopefully have!
Also, work-wise, I really want to work again one day but for now as we were planning another baby anyway didn’t make sense to go back for few months, so I rather go back properly when the second baby turns 1 or so. Cause the work I do, you either commit long term or you don’t do it at all.
When one becomes two…………..I’m thinking how can I chill and breastfeed while I have this little Mr Mayhem running around… TV I guess….? What do I do with the little kitten-like thing when the big boy wants his breakfast/lunch/dinner? At least the second time around I guess I won’t worry every second and the new baby won’t know any better. So if I have to put him/her down, I’ll do it. When first time we hardly ever could. Quite often we ended up being Quinn’s human-beds.
Giving birth. Well, I’ve done it once before so hey, bring it on! No but seriously though, I wasn’t scared the last time and neither am I now. It’s a natural thing and whatever happens, happens. The way I think about it is that the first time I was forced to face one of my biggest fears – being induced. Like don’t get me wrong I only say “biggest fears” because which one of us isn’t planning this calm and holistic birth before they experience the real thing which can end up being anything from forceps or c-section to much more serious things! But with being induced I was either afraid I’ll be in labour for three days or I have to suffer the nasty unnatural pain that was gonna be forced on me. It was the latter. And even though no one told me that at the time, I now know 100% I was having a full on back labour, which means my baby was back to back, which in turn meeeeans that one of the main things I remember from my birth experience was excruciating back pain. Crowning? What’s that? And for pain relief guess what I got basically for the whole day – two paracetamols! Joke. I’m a fucking warrior! Wasn’t even offered co-codamol or anything remotely more effective. Oh yeah, a bath in the late afternoon helped massively and then I begged for some gas and air which I then finally got as my labour was in full swing by that time. But yeah, that’s it.
An interesting fact I found out last week was that when the baby is back to back then it can take much longer for the labour to establish, and the position itself makes it harder for the baby to exit the cervix as opposed to the perfect “back to belly” position. Which in turn makes so much more sense now and would firstly explain why my waters broke and my labour didn’t start for another 19 hours or so, and secondly why the poor thing’s shoulders got stuck. As much I’ve researched it and spoke to different midwives about it there are nothing you can do to avoid having shoulders dystocia happening, however, there are risk factors and that time I had them all – late baby (41+3w), being induced and baby who’s back to back.
From the beginning of this pregnancy I was listed as “high risk” and everyone told me that I will only be allowed to give birth at the delivery suite (like I ended up doing the last time). I didn’t care much because you know, better safe than sorry! However, last week I found out that the doctor who I recently saw had listed me as “low risk” all of a sudden and if everything goes to plan I can maybe experience the “dream-birth” I had planned the first time – at the Midwife Led Unit (MLU), in a nice and comfy room, and even water birth is an option again! I couldn’t believe it and didn’t know how to be happy about it. Mainly because one of the midwives who came to see me at home after Quinn’s birth scared me too much. She made it very clear that I did have a complicated birth and if the same situation would have happened at the MLU they would have had to transport me to another floor while the head was out etc. Sounds scary, doesn’t it?? So therefore, as there is a risk it can happen again, I was just like….erm…how can I be LOW risk?? Like what is this sorcery? But I happened to have another appointment last week and the lovely midwife there completely calmed me down. She said that all of these things I went through with Quinn (which wasn’t that dramatic at all and hey – I don’t have a bad memory of any of it) could have been easily dealt with at the MLU. The would have performed episiotomy the same way they did upstairs in the delivery suite and instead of painting this picture in front of my eyes being moved from floor to floor, she was just like “we can just call the doctor down”…. Which made me feel like well yeah, that’s what I was thinking… So this is how one person can completely freak you out when in reality there is no real reason to. So now I’m happy and calm again!
My bag and the baby’s bag are packed. Have been for a while now to be honest because I’ve been feeling so heavily pregnant for so long I just felt better having these things ready! As it basically saved my life last time – I’ve got three bottles of isotonic Lucozade in my bag and lot’s of healthy/oaty energy bars. I have also packed a double amount of nappies this time, because having experienced it now, you just never know which shit-show you might end up facing haha.
Finally – who is it going to be? A boy or a girl!?? I am so excited! First time I just HAD to find out, I could not wait. This time we decided to leave that as a surprise. Also the nurse who gave me a flu jab early in my pregnancy said that the excitement of not knowing helped her get through her labour better, so I’ll take it! But the way I look at it now is that, overall I really don’t care and I love my boy so much I so wouldn’t mind another one of those! At the same time, if it’s a girl, I think I could feel like we’re done now with our family. When with a boy I might want to try for a girl in four-five years time. We’ll see! I also don’t want to believe any of the old wives tales because my pregnancy has been different, but there is still no way of knowing! Let’s just hope he or she won’t keep us waiting too long! Well one way or another at least in 20 days time the very latest I hope I’ll be holding our baby number 2!